graduation day...

on friday afternoon, i walked across a stage at school to receive my diploma from the legal admin program. even though i've already graduated from college and university before, i never went to any of the ceremonies. but i figured since this one got me a job, i would go and do it.

being ushered in.

high honours! what what!

//

what can i say, we value education.

i was pretty nervous throughout the ceremony, but i didn't fall across the stage, and i didn't pass out, so win! and now that that's done, i think the school life is officially behind me.

done...

today i write my last exam for this program; as of 1pm, i am completely done! finito! this year has gone by incredibly fast, and i'm glad to have finally found something i (seem to be) enjoying. i came out on the top of my class, and i start an amazing placement on tuesday which will go for the next 4 weeks. i'm crossing my fingers extra tight that i will get hired on after that, as they've made it clear they do like to hire their students and build them from the ground up.

this program marks my second diploma, along with my degree. i can only hope that this is the end of the road school-wise, unless an employer wanted me to upgrade in the future. i have pretty high hopes that is this going to work out, though. i can now call myself a legal assistant! i might not have any experience yet to back that up, but it's coming. (related post here about deciding to apply)

 throw a party hat on - i'm done!

chloe isn't quite showing her excitement like i am.

we don't have any major plans this weekend to celebrate other than maybe going shopping tomorrow. i may or not treat myself to a grad gift, we'll see how generous i'm feeling. plus, it's my third time graduating post-high school, so it's not a huge deal, but it still feels like another accomplishment. yay!

interview ready...

today is the day i have been stressing out over for the last week. i wrote about attending a dinner (here) at one of toronto's leading law firms with 4 other students from my class, along with a some other students from about 4 other schools, in honour of our achievements. i found out last week that of the 5 of us that attended the dinner, they've narrowed it down to 3 who will be interviewed for the placement and i'm one of them! from the interview, they will then select only 2 of us who will do the placement with them. for the 1 person who doesn't go to this firm, another great place is already set up that doesn't require an interview.

all that to say, the interview is at 11am today! needless to say, i'm absolutley freaking out. i've been researching the firm and looking at some of their recent cases, but i'm just afraid i'll completely blank out. i'm trying to remain calm by telling myself that they want us, they chose us, and this is mostly to see if they think we will be a good fit for the 2 weeks of placement in august. and if not, well there's another great place all ready to go.

*fingers crossed*

home stretch...

you know, going to school through the summer sure isn't ideal. but it's my last semester and i know it's going to fly by. and the bonus is that we have every wednesday off, which can be used for either homework or taking a day to relax and get out and enjoy the nice weather (when it comes - we're still in the middle of a rainy few weeks, it seems). today though, i'm fixing up my resume to hand in to my professor tomorrow so she can place us at our respective co-ops. i've been on pins and needles the last 2 months just waiting to hear where i'll be placed and hopefully the end is near and i'll find out soon.

 starting mornings off right.

the one day of shorts weather was such a tease. come back!

you know what else? having wednesdays off make the week go by so fast, it's insane. and for that, i'm happy.

effort = results...

i'm happy to say that my hard work in my course is paying off  in the legal assistant program. i've been chosen as 1 of 5 students to go to an honors dinner with one of the big law firms downtown in the hopes of being chosen to do my placement there next semester. ideally, from that i would get hired! which isn't unlikely, as my prof tells me that students who do placements typically do get hired on if they're a good fit. i don't have much more information at this time, like how many people from the firm will be there/who/where it will be, etc. all i know is that it's in just 2 weeks and i'm pretty nervous! as soon as she broke the news, i was mentally going through my closet trying to decide what to wear. obviously the most important thing ;)

unknown pinterest source.

first semester marks. 4.0 gpa thank you very much.

and with that said, as of 1pm, i'm on reading week! hello relaxation and peaceful mornings.

back at it...

not to toot my own horn or anything, but i did really well first semester. after taking 7 classes, i finished with 4 As and 3 A+. i wish i had tipped the scale and gotten one more A+, but i won't complain. this is mostly a reminder to me, so i can read back and see how i did. when things get tough in a few weeks, and we're in the thick of semester 2, i just need to remember that i can do it and that the hard work pays off.

saturday morning.

boom...

oh hi, don't mind me. i'm just stressing about the 7 exams i have to write this week. 7 exams. 5 days. oy. not to mention, i'm going into today's exam (worth 35%) with a 98%...talk about pressure! i'm going in with an 85% or above in all of my other 6 classes, so my marks can fall greatly if i freeze up, which is nerve-wracking. but, i'm pretty confident i know my stuff.

this is my i'm nervous face.

so, here goes. let's do this. i just need to make it to 3pm friday and i'm off for 4 weeks.
halle-freakin-lujah.

life and such...

who would have thought we would be where we are today a year ago? last summer, dylan had lost his job, i wasn't working yet, & he had just taken a week long course at college and started a new job. that new job was like the devil to me, it sounded absolutely terrible, even though you couldn't deny the pay was fantastic. but since then, he's taken his exam and become fully licensed, and i'll admit, it's not completely terrible. yes, some days i still hate his job, the hours, and the inability to plan things in advance. but, for the most part, we've become accustomed to it and its working out well for us. that said, he wants to switch companies in the spring/summer, & i hate change, but one step at a time, ya know?

as for me, i still can't believe i'm back in school, and actually really enjoying it. it's going by incredibly fast; in one month, exams will be over and i'll be off for just over 4 weeks! oh sweet relief. then it's 1 semester down, only 2 to go. i also can't believe how well i'm doing. a few 80s, but mostly 90s and even 100s. i only hope i can keep that up for finals and the next 2 semesters.

 i think i can attribute those high marks to the fact that i'm older now. i've (finally) realized the benefit of studying, doing homework every night, not letting things pile up, and not procrasting on assignments. it only took all of college and university to realize that (actually 4th year university, 2nd semester. smart, huh?). but at 26, i'm more serious about school and know the benefits of doing well and being the top of the class. do i want the best placements in 3rd semester? heck yes! do i want the program coordinator to recommend me as 1 of 3 to go to an 'honors dinner' in 3rd semester with one of the law firms with the hopes of being hired on? absolutely! so, if things get a little quiet (like they kind of have been), it's because i'm working my butt off!

unrelated picture, but the post needed one (the mall already has the christmas stuff up)

all this said, i'm off to class to write yet another quiz. college just loves the quizzes. seriously. at least 3 a week!

nose in the books...

though this is only a 4 day week, there's been no shortage of work to do. 1 quiz, 1 midterm, and 1 in-class essay down, 2 midterms and 1 assignment to hand in to go. one thing i notice about college? they're all about the quizzes; i usually have 3-4 a week. crazy, in university i'm pretty sure i had none.

the only thing getting me through is knowing that once i'm done friday afternoon, i have a whole week off. the fact that i have a reading week in october is kind of blowing my mind, i thought they were only in february, but apparently not (i have on then, too). not arguing with that, i'll take it!

i've got my lunch packed up...

well, there's officially less than 1 week until i start school again. i'm excited, but also pretty nervous. it's been a while, you know. i'm a little rusty on the homework, essay writing, hundreds of pages of reading thing. i joked to dylan that if after this 12 month diploma program i still can't get a job (along with my degree and other diploma i already have), i'll be about ready to quit and be a housewife ;) *for the curious, after high school i took a 2 year diploma program at college (which is where i met dylan), then i got my degree at the university of toronto, and 2 years have since passed with no career work. a little bit more here.*

we took a test ride to school yesterday just to see exactly how long it will take and for me to lock down my route. i'm sure i'll get turned around a few times in the first couple weeks and have to stop in the stations  and look around, but i'll manage. i'm just not very good at public transit as i've never really had to take it anywhere; i'm a big walker. while there, i got a few of the books i need for first semester (leaving the other few to get next week) and my student card. it's all real now!

 26 and a new student again. hi!

 new agendas and backpack. getting ready. new laptop to come next week, which i'm ridiculously excited about.

semester 1. 7 classes. still 5 more books to buy. help.

quite honestly, 7 classes each semester scares me. i never had to take that many in university and it just seems like a lot. but, it is an accelerated program; it's been condensed into 3 straight semesters, september through to august. i just have to tell myself that i went to one of the top universities in canada, and if i can do that, surely i'll do well in college again. 

back to school, back to school...

warning, this is a little long!

not having any luck in the job search was starting to get to me. it has been 2 years since i've graduated university, and while i've had odd jobs here and there (3 to be exact), i never had that career job or even a job that paid well. it's so frustrating looking at jobs online, only to see that my 6 years of college and university education get me nothing. entry level jobs want years of experience, knowledge of this program, a certificate in that; none of which i have. i still apply, but i've yet to get any calls, obviously. and let just throw this out there, a few weeks ago, i was applying to a department store and you know what they had under qualifications? a degree in retail management! to be a sales associate!! so yeah, i felt pretty defeated.

here i am, at nearly 26 still in a rut of what to do with my life. dylan has always tried to talk me into going back to school, but i would just scoff and say, "and take what?! i have no idea what i want to do!" "i don't want to go and take just anything. i need a job after!" "a masters degree wouldn't guarantee a job either!" i truly enjoyed what i got my degree in; criminology and sociology, but more so the criminology. to me, it's fascinating and i loved it. i considered law school in my first year, but quickly changed my mind.

last thursday (july 11) when dylan and i were talking, once again, about how frustrated and lost i feel, and the fact that i still have yet to get a job since moving here, or any calls (career-type or retail) he again suggested school. he told me just to think about it. i went for a walk and tried to clear my head and while i was out, i started thinking about a legal administrative assistant. when i got back home, i checked out a few colleges in the city that offered it and read up on it. most jobs i look at online want this diploma and they pay relatively well, i've seen some postings up to $65-$70,000. *i know one wouldn't start at that, but it's nice to know it's possible to work up to that* i gave the college a quick call to make sure they still had openings since i would be applying late and they did. of all things, they wanted my high school transcripts to make sure i had grade 12 english. then i was sent into a tizzy  because i had no recollection of whether i took it (turns out i did, as it was mandatory) and i was thinking, "you're telling me i may not get in because of something i didn't take nearly 10 years ago?!"

i had pretty much decided, that yes, i'm going to go for it and just apply. i spend the next day calling my high school, college, and university to get all my old student numbers. i finished the application process later that day and only applied to the one school (even though i could have chosen up to 5) and figured i would play the waiting game for 3-4 weeks. i didn't think there was a real reason i wouldn't get it, especially with my educational background and what i took, but i didn't want to get my hopes up. and then there was the whole, "more debt?! really?!?" i've been paying off my student loans for 2 years now, but i applied again since we don't have an extra $10,000 hanging around in our bank account.

on sunday (june 14), i got an email early in the morning, "congratulations, you've been accepted!" first of all, i couldn't believe i heard back so fast, and second of all, i got in!! i did a little dance in the living room and my girl friends and dylan were there with me.

so that's that! i'm going back to school. it's a diploma program that is 12 months straight and when i'm done, hopefully i'll get a placement that will lead to a job, and a job that pays well ;) in the end, what's a little more school debt?!

i really do think this is what i've wanted to do, i just didn't know it. it may have taken me a little longer than most to get there, but i feel like i'm finally on track and doing something with my life that i will (hopefully) enjoy and that will get me somewhere.

excited!

holy crap, i'm going back to school!

*this was pretty long-winded, but i wrote it out mostly for me to keep a memory of*

today, while the rest of UofT is starting classes, i'm not. it's still really bizarre to me. i'm an alumni. elementary school, high school, college, and finally university. i've always had classes to go to come september. it's rather unsettling knowing i won't be walking through that campus along with the thousands of other students anymore. of course, i still can, i just won't be one of them, and i won't be on my way to class. (and it's also not like i'm waking up going to work today either. nothing on the job front yet. so there's that, too.)

a couple weeks ago, i took chloe for a walk through campus just because. it really is so beautiful. that part, along with the comfort of stability, i'm really going to miss.

it was a good 4 years.

memory lane...

another week down. i think this may be the fastest year of my life thus far. kind of sucks. however, we're now past the 1/2 way point to christmas! who's pissed at me for bringing that up while you're enjoying your summer??? hehe
anyway, while my mom was here, she wanted to go to campus (edit: it's university of toronto-UofT) and take a few pictures of old windows to get blown up and framed for the living room..we brought the little one along and sweat it out on a brutal hot day.

 i had a lot of classes here, i always found it super creepy. especially the one tutorial in the basement. eek.

established in 1853. while a lot of the campus is now new buildings, or fairly new (i believe there's about 250 buildings total), i still prefer the old ones like this..they're just not made to look like this anymore. and of course the seats are horrendous in the old buildings, doesn't it give it more heart and a past to leave the old buildings up??

my little baby girl was panting like crazy. don't worry, we went right to shade after this.

walking around and thinking i'll no longer be going through the campus streets on a daily basis anymore :( tear.

well, that's it, that's all.

happy friday all.

end of the road...

well, this morning i write my last university exam. i'm sure by the time most of you read this, i'll be in the middle of writing it, or done (it's at 9am). this is what i've worked 4 years towards and it's hard to believe it's finally here. i'm not really sure what to feel. relief, that's for sure. but also now the new stress that comes along with looking for and applying for jobs. but also, i feel like a bit of a failure for not going on to do my masters. it seems everyone is getting their masters and phd's nowadays, and it seems that a university degree just doesn't cut it anymore. but after college and university, i need a break for at least a year. maybe i'll go back to school in the future; i'm definitely not ruling it out. but looking online at jobs briefly, it just seems as though i'm not qualified for much of anything.

but anyways, enough of being mopey-i'm done university and that's an accomplishment! i should be proud! and i am. it feels darn good :) weird, but good.

i don't know what's next, but i'm looking forward to finding out.


edit: i'm done now!!! it feels really crazy and surreal to know that i have no more exams or late nights or studying or papers to write. what?!?! thanks for the comments and congrats thus far!! :):) ♥♥ i just woke up from a nap (i was up at 5am) but i'm going back to hang out in bed and read!!

today i don't feel like doing anything...

i.am.done!!! 3 finals in 2 days. done.

do you know how relieved i feel??

my next one isn't until the 18th.

seriously, i haven't been able to breathe this whole semester.

it's been, by far, the most challenging semester.

the workload was intense.

the readings were endless.

the papers kept coming.

but i did it.

i would take a picture to show you how happy i am..

but last night i looked like a tired, haggard mess when i got home at night...

and this morning it's still too early, and i'm not ready...

but basically...

 i want to do a little dance...

and smile big.

yeah.

and i'm out.

to relax. and do nothing today.

booya

also, yesterday i sat through my last lecture of undergrad

#bittersweet

**title-bruno mars (the lazy song)

perfect, no?

finals week...

i've got 2 finals today. one at noon and one at 6pm. i could use some positive vibes. i am *nervous* then another one tomorrow too. i'm almost there. i'm almost there.

via

this is what i need to tell myself.

it's still not quite over after tomorrow, but at least i have 13 days until the next one.

wrongful convictions...

if you have no interest in the criminal law, then this post probably isn't for you ;) this is just my personal rant about a class i love and some problems i have...

first off, i am so happy that i am doing my major in something that i absolutely love. there is one class in particular which is hands down, my favorite class i have taken in the 4 years. next week is the last class and i don't want it to end. it also helps that the prof is totally amazing-she's a defence lawyer and i just love listening to her speak. there is no "ummm" or "welllll..." or any filler words, you know? i'm guessing it has to do with the fact she's a lawyer and needs to be a good, confident speaker ;)

anyways, i think this course has made me a cynic. the last couple classes have been about wrongful convictions. i sat there in every class just listening to her speak so intently (as i do every week), and i just don't want the class to end. learning about this particular topic has just made me so frustrated, to say the least. did you know, that in the US, a wrongfully convicted person will spend, on average, 13 years in prison, from the time of sentencing to exoneration. talk about unreal. of course, that's an average, so some people are a lot more, others a lot less. we've talked about the main causes of WC; things like tunnel vision, jailhouse informants, eyewitness identification, false confessions, prosecutorial misconduct, expert witnesses etc...

it was when we talked about expert witnesses that really got me thinking. it's like you just can't trust anyone. sometimes the language they use can mislead a jury. i mean, how is a jury full of average people, supposed to take what the expert says, but then think, "well, i don't think they're right!" or "that's nice, but i'm going to disagree with you." i mean, it's just not likely! we call them 'experts' !! we put them on a pedestal. they say things like, "if i were a betting man, i would say it's more likely that ... a polar bear caused those wounds to a child, rather than a dog (as the defence was saying)" [that's a true quote, which this expert often said]. so the jury gets it in their mind that this expert must absolutely be right, because hey, he'd bet on it! they also say things like, 'well the fibers could have come from place X"  but they're not forward in saying the chances of it not likely coming from that place..(i realize this may not be making any sense to anyone else ha).

to hear so many cases of wrongful convictions, it just blows my mind. they're not as uncommon as you may think. there was one mother whose baby had died. she was charged with the murder. for whatever reason, she was not put in prison, but she was kept in custody for 22 months. she had 2 other children. with no one else to care for them, they were put in foster care. what happens after 12 months in foster care? children can go up for adoption. so not only did this mother lose her baby, and was charged with committing the murder herself, her other 2 children were adopted! it's heartbreaking. do you take the children out of the stable family they've now become part of? (i believe they were young when it happened)..i don't know the rest of it, the prof didn't go into it, but obviously, whatever choice is made, it won't be easy for the children...
one dr. was known as "the guy" in canada for a particular field. however, 45 of his cases were recently called to review. 20 of those 45, he made errors  which may have caused errors of the outcomes. 12 led to wrongful convictions.

anyways, this was just my mini rant, which i wrote in a fury haha. there are certain recommendations that have come into place since particular cases, that help eliminate particular language used by expert witnesses, but i just don't know if i'll ever be able to trust what they're saying, 100% ever again after hearing this lecture.
those poor, poor people whose lives are completely ruined  by the system.

and just 2 examples of canadian cases: Donald Marshall, Jr. 11 years in prison for a for a murder he didn't commit. sentence the guilty person received when the caught him? 1 year.
David Milgaard-22 years in prison for a rape and murder he didn't commit.

 via

i always seem to write weird, downer posts on fridays?? anyways, enjoy your weekend :)

i'm going bonkers!

i can feel my stress levels rising. well, they've been rising at a slow and steady pace all semester, but now it's escalating. the end is near. 3 weeks of classes left before finals start. i still can't wrap my head around that. that, and the fact that i'm graduating. can i just show you all what my next few weeks looks like?

tuesday march 15-policy paper on prostitution regulation due (40%, 10 pages); involved nearly 800pgs of required reading that was plopped down on us. (this one is nearly done)
wednesday march 23- paper due (35%, 20 pages); topic i picked? wrongful convictions
monday march 28-paper due about crime and gender and relating it to girl with a dragon tattoo (25%, 9-12 pages)
wednesday march 30-paper due (35%, 10-15 pages); haven't decided on a topic yet, but something in corrections
tuesday april 5- final (25%) and another final (25%)
wednesday april 6-yet another final (25%)

i mean, i'll be running around like a chicken with my head cut off. wait, no, that's not very accurate. i won't be running anywhere; i'll be buried in my apartment with my face stuck in my books and my computer. it's ridiculous. thank gosh my last 2 exams are later in the month, and they're 10 days apart, so i can put them on the back burner. but it doesn't help that my last exam of my university career is on the last possible day of the exam schedule. but, the day after that last exam, we will be off to NYC. so it kind of makes up for it. ok, it a lot makes up for it ;)

 books, work, books, work... ahhhh

stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. stress is an ignorant state. it believes that everything is an emergency. nothing is that important. just lie down.

- Natalie Goldberg

i should really listen to that. but then again, papers can't wait; try telling a prof that their paper isn't that important ha

say cheese!

grad pictures are today.

just another small reminder that this chapter of my life is soon coming to an end.

 high school grad 2005. keep in mind cameras weren't what they are now! so the quality is just ok

 best friends since 2 ♥

 yaa we did it!

 our group of girls in the front row, all still friends.

"you have brains in your head. you have feet in your shoes. you can steer yourself in any direction you choose. you're on your own. and you know what you know. you are the guy who'll decide where to go"

-dr. seuss

up, up here we go...

oh haaayyy...i've been absent for the last 2 days. simply nothing to say. and no point writing something just to write when i have nothing to say. (side note: 90% of the time, i write monday-friday. the odd time i skip a day, i lose a follower..every.single.time. coincidence? maybe. but every time. kid you not..anyways...)

the reading this term is kicking my butt. i spent my weekend doing just that. i had 296 pages to read this weekend for this week of classes. now this weekend i have to read 350 for next week. i don't have the option to even fall behind because almost every week there is quizzes or mini assignments, plus there is the dreaded classes (2) that involves the 'p' word-participation. barf. so ya, that's basically what the next 12 weeks is going to be; averaging 300-350 pages a week. oh and there's the 5 20 page papers i have due within 1 month. seriously. i die. but, enough complaining.

when i get stressed, i'll just make stupid faces to pass the time and entertain myself.

good news? my weekend starts tonight. and we're supposed to get a bit of snow the next few days. holla.
oh, and it's my half birthday! ha, i totally don't celebrate that, but i just looked at the date and realized. 23.5 should be a good age..i feel it ;)