hi, we live in canada. did you forget?

friday was a little bit of a crazy day. I was supposed to work at the office in the am then go off to my new job for 3pm (& spend my saturday off shopping with my mom), but something happened to a girl
at work & i had to go in saturday. therefore, canceling my friday shift. anyways, after a quick shift at the office, me and my mom went to a mall we haven't been to in years in hopes of getting some christmas shopping done. my mom was lucky enough to find a few things, but I walked out empty handed. we left the mall parking lot at 6:02pm, knowing we would he hitting some rush-hour traffic, but probably not more than an hour. we couldn't have been more wrong if we tried.

let me start by saying that this is normally a 40 minute drive. i fell asleep almost immediately (like i always do in cars) & woke up an hour later...to us still sitting in traffic. it had started very lightly flurrying out a few hours before. i kept updating twitter about how long this was taking, making a joke out of it. But 1 hour became 2 hours, became THREE hours. it became apparent that this wasn't rush-hour traffic anymore, but because of the snow, which was hardly anything, by canadian standards anyways. i was texting my dad around 7:30 and he was all, "guess i'll see you guys around 10pm!" and we were "haha, funny, ya right."

care to take a guess as to what time we walked in the door, from what should have been a 40minute drive? 11:58pm. MIDNIGHT. 6 HOURS LATER. i mean, i don't even understand! They say the first snowfall is always the worst on drivers, because everyone forgets how to drive in the snow, but this was craZzzyyy. Bumper to bumper for 6 hours, going no more than 5km/h most of the time. I don't think we got even more than 3cm of snow. parts of the highway were slippery with ice, i'll give it that, but still.. My god.
me and my mom started getting a little delusional! laughing at the hilarity and ridiculousness of this whole mess, what else could we do. Christmas music can only hold you over so long though. by hour 4 we were getting hungry! & thirsty! & i had to pee! man oh man, what an adventure *that* was.

this was the snow that held us up.

santa had a pretty awesome set-up though.

pretty pretty.

confession and such...

i have a little confession to make; i'm a terrible communicator. when something is bothering me, i keep my mouth shut. i keep it all to myself. i know it's not healthy. and it drives dylan crazy. why wouldn't it? we're supposed to be partners in this crazy thing called life, but it's like i'm shutting him out for parts of it. it's like there's something stopping me from opening my mouth and letting it all out. lately, i've been having little pity parties for myself. i cry. i think about jobs. and how i'm going to keep my apartment while paying back atrocious loans. because i really, really want to stay where i am. i still don't know what i want to do. and that's the million dollar question everyone asks now that i'm done school. i don't have much of a resume. i often think, who the hell is going to hire me? then i see my friends going on all these awesome trips (but also going in debt for them, something i'm almost positive i'm not willing to do), getting jobs in no time, and their life is just coming together perfectly it seems. and mine is falling apart. well, that's rather drastic, yes. my life is by no means falling apart..but sometimes it feels like i'm never going to get anywhere. the stress and anxiety of this whole process is now physically affecting me in more ways than one. if i'm this nervous while putting my resume together and and looking online for jobs, how the hell am i going to be when/if i get an interview. pass the ativan! (joking).

 this is just part of life. some people handle it better than others. some people can hide their nerves during interviews and look all cool, calm, and collected. others may appear cool on the outside, but be trembling on the inside. and then there's people like me. who are a nervous wreck inside and out. there's nothing i can do about it, but try and move past it and work through it. because as much as i think about running away to europe and forgetting everything, that's not reality.

derek hough tweeted this yesterday, and it kind of fits perfectly with what dylan was telling me while i was bawling my eyes out on monday: "challenges & obstacles are part of life, share them. let people who love you have the opportunity to show you how much they care."

wrongful convictions...

if you have no interest in the criminal law, then this post probably isn't for you ;) this is just my personal rant about a class i love and some problems i have...

first off, i am so happy that i am doing my major in something that i absolutely love. there is one class in particular which is hands down, my favorite class i have taken in the 4 years. next week is the last class and i don't want it to end. it also helps that the prof is totally amazing-she's a defence lawyer and i just love listening to her speak. there is no "ummm" or "welllll..." or any filler words, you know? i'm guessing it has to do with the fact she's a lawyer and needs to be a good, confident speaker ;)

anyways, i think this course has made me a cynic. the last couple classes have been about wrongful convictions. i sat there in every class just listening to her speak so intently (as i do every week), and i just don't want the class to end. learning about this particular topic has just made me so frustrated, to say the least. did you know, that in the US, a wrongfully convicted person will spend, on average, 13 years in prison, from the time of sentencing to exoneration. talk about unreal. of course, that's an average, so some people are a lot more, others a lot less. we've talked about the main causes of WC; things like tunnel vision, jailhouse informants, eyewitness identification, false confessions, prosecutorial misconduct, expert witnesses etc...

it was when we talked about expert witnesses that really got me thinking. it's like you just can't trust anyone. sometimes the language they use can mislead a jury. i mean, how is a jury full of average people, supposed to take what the expert says, but then think, "well, i don't think they're right!" or "that's nice, but i'm going to disagree with you." i mean, it's just not likely! we call them 'experts' !! we put them on a pedestal. they say things like, "if i were a betting man, i would say it's more likely that ... a polar bear caused those wounds to a child, rather than a dog (as the defence was saying)" [that's a true quote, which this expert often said]. so the jury gets it in their mind that this expert must absolutely be right, because hey, he'd bet on it! they also say things like, 'well the fibers could have come from place X"  but they're not forward in saying the chances of it not likely coming from that place..(i realize this may not be making any sense to anyone else ha).

to hear so many cases of wrongful convictions, it just blows my mind. they're not as uncommon as you may think. there was one mother whose baby had died. she was charged with the murder. for whatever reason, she was not put in prison, but she was kept in custody for 22 months. she had 2 other children. with no one else to care for them, they were put in foster care. what happens after 12 months in foster care? children can go up for adoption. so not only did this mother lose her baby, and was charged with committing the murder herself, her other 2 children were adopted! it's heartbreaking. do you take the children out of the stable family they've now become part of? (i believe they were young when it happened)..i don't know the rest of it, the prof didn't go into it, but obviously, whatever choice is made, it won't be easy for the children...
one dr. was known as "the guy" in canada for a particular field. however, 45 of his cases were recently called to review. 20 of those 45, he made errors  which may have caused errors of the outcomes. 12 led to wrongful convictions.

anyways, this was just my mini rant, which i wrote in a fury haha. there are certain recommendations that have come into place since particular cases, that help eliminate particular language used by expert witnesses, but i just don't know if i'll ever be able to trust what they're saying, 100% ever again after hearing this lecture.
those poor, poor people whose lives are completely ruined  by the system.

and just 2 examples of canadian cases: Donald Marshall, Jr. 11 years in prison for a for a murder he didn't commit. sentence the guilty person received when the caught him? 1 year.
David Milgaard-22 years in prison for a rape and murder he didn't commit.

 via

i always seem to write weird, downer posts on fridays?? anyways, enjoy your weekend :)

i can feel my intelligence decreasing...

in class the other day, our prof was talking about a paper we have to hand in shortly. all basic stuff everyone already knows by now. then he reminded us that proper sentence structure and grammar are required. um, excuse me? isn't that a given? now, i know my sentence structure is all outta whack on this blog sometimes, mostly because i write like i talk, but i can assure you i know proper sentencing and grammar!

he then tells us about a student last year who handed in a paper and used 'u' in place of 'you' throughout the whole paper. and he reminded us not to do this. i mean, really? is this what we have to be reminded of now a days? we are in 4th year. we are not at a some joe-blow community college (relax, totally not knocking community college, i went there too; loved it). we are at one of the best universities in canada. sigh.

then he told us about a student who didn't site a single thing in their whole paper. why? well, they assumed the prof/TA 'should know where the information came from.' i'm sorry, did you go to high school? do you know what a works cited/in-text citation is? how did you get in university? how did you make it to 4th year?!?

proof--there will always be idiots in the world.

doh

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have a fantastic weekend!
♥♥

people are f*cking sick..

yesterday, i walked past this. obviously english isn't their first language, but that's  besides the point. it says: "after a week of missing, my cat finally came home. unfortunately he came hurt. by the looks of the wounds he was tied up and tortured. many of us have outdoor cats in this neighbourhood and this is why i have decided to post this, so you are away of what kind of neighbours we have." the picture is hard to tell because the paper was put in a plastic sheet and it rained the other day, so the condensation makes it hard to see. i think the open wound is the cats neck. i certainly don't live in a neighbourhood you would expect this from (not that you should expect it anywhere..but you know what i mean..)

there are exactly 2 movies (involving people) that make me cry; scratch that, bawl like a baby-PS I love you and a walk to remember. i love them both, but boy do they get me going. But show me a movie about an animal being hurt, or dying and I'm a wreck. don't even get me started on marley and me...i was uncontrollably sobbing in the theatre, like i couldn't breath, and on the way home, and at home...
i think the first movie i cried at was a movie about a german shepherd. i swear it was called 'hero' but i can't find it on google anywhere. i was young, so i could be wrong. i got it from mcdonald's of all places in a happy meal and our family german shephard had just been put down.
i know it may not sound very nice, but i can watch the news and hear stories of people who have been hurt or have died and yes, i feel bad, but it does not even come close to the pain, hurt, rage, etc i feel when i see something involving animals.

human beings have the capacity to understand what is going on. they may not know why it's happening, but they can comprehend what is going on. and they can defend themselves. maybe not very well in all cases, but they can try. animals cannot. they have absolutely no idea why they are being hit by their owner when they don't do something right, or stuffed in a cage for their whole life to breed, or kicked and stepped on by some punk, low life, idiot who deserves to be tortured them self, who thinks it fun. they.have.no.defense.

i remember last year on campus, i walked into a building and there was a table set up with newspapers on it. a guy asked me if i wanted to buy one and support whatever topic it was (i think it had to do with women in poorer countries who didn't have rights). i just told him 'sorry, no.' He asked why and had asked my political party as well; i told him it didn't matter and he said i must be interested in something. when i said animals, he looked at me like I was an idiot with 3 heads and said "so, you care more about animals than people?" and to that I simply replied "yes" and walked away. like hello, people can support different things! that's what makes the world go round.

this post was mostly a rant; i could feel my blood boiling and tears coming to my eyes when i saw that poster. what a despicable person.
and what a way to start a monday eh?

also, this post is not meant to start any arguments or mean-spirited debates. it's just what came to mind when i saw the poster.

blah...

my computer told me it would like a little update today. so i said "ok" and it went to town.

then when it started back up, my computer taskbar looked like it went back to 1999. not ok. 

what did it do; un-update? 

i couldn't figure it out.

then my blackberry was showing a constant bbm smiley face, when i don't have a new message.

oh, and my trackball on my blackberry doesn't like to scroll down.

and facebook doesn't like to load on it.

or the weather network. 

i'm still waiting for an iphone, but apple is terrible is sends out 5 at a time to rogers. bullsh*t.

people still line up hours before stores open to get one.

1.5 months after it came out.

i will not be that person.

apple has approximately 14 days before i give up and buy something other than the iphone.

as if they care.

then i restarted my computer after 20 minutes of trying to figure things out; it went back to normal.

i restarted my phone, and it went back to normal.

it's raining today.

i have to go to class later.

just one of those days...

can i go back to bed and restart my whole day?

also, i've got another post about tiff i was supposed to do today, but i'm waiting for my friend to email a few pictures from her camera because she got some better shots. and she hasn't done that yet! get on it diana!! so hopefully that will be tomorrow.

the great debate ...

it's time to upgrade my phone, and i complain a lot on twitter about having to wait. i always sign a 3 year contract and it's always been that at 18months, you get an upgrade..great, that was april (i think). so i go into Rogers and they're all, 'no, we changed things, if you want to upgrade to another smartphone, it's now 2 years."  *blank stare from me..*

at 18months with my blackberry, it was already freezing, had to be restarted almost daily from not being able to open BBM's, if i wanted to take a picture, i had to delete a picture (and i only had about 100 on there). so the fact that they tell me i have to wait another 6 months!? i was complaining to my mom that there was NO way this phone was going to last. either it would die on its own, or it would die a crumbly death when i threw it against the pavement or my wall out of frustration.

well, i made it the necessary 6 months (a very angry and annoyed 6 months) and in the meantime i've been having the great debate with myself...

iphone4 or another blackberry!?

what the blackberry has got going for it: most importantly-a real keyboard, a little light that flashes when i have a message or missed phone call or anything else that i need a reminder for-very handy!!, it's small and fits in my tiny wallets, BBM (blackberry messenger) and well, i'm just used to it.

iphone: well, the screen and the awesomeness that it's a computer at hand, the 5 mega pixel camera (!!), HD video, all the sweet apps (hello, words with friends?! and the awesomeness that is shazam) *oh, i'm Bree_19 if you want to play me ;) *...and obviously a bunch more. the downside? i still kind of hate the keyboard (getting better on my itouch but still would prefer a real keyboard), and no flashing light.
*i might have to get some conductive thread and sew a little piece into the appropriate fingers of some gloves so i can still use it in the fall/winter, i hear that works?*

but with that being said, about a month ago i made my decision. the iphone4.

now see, they came out in canada july 31. and i thought, awesome, by the time i can upgrade, they will have them in stock. WRONG!  i have been on the hunt for the past week and they are still SOLD OUT everywhere! you know what the people at rogers tell me? well, we might be getting 1 (!!) in, we might be getting 7 (!!??). if almost one month after it came out, you still can't keep it in stock, why are you not getting like 100!? why isn't apple able to keep up. it is beyond frustrating. i just want my new phone dammit!! 

and..end rant.

it was all a dream...

it seems like everyone has been saying it lately, but i think it's true; i'm ready for fall. i'm so over summer right now (except 1 more beach trip and maybe camping!) and the disgusting humidity that comes with it. if it could just  be like, 25 degrees, that would be great. but instead it has to be in the high 20's, or 30's with a ridiculous humidity that makes the 'real feel' in the 40's. dylan and i were sitting in a cafe the other night and i decided to order a chai latte, something i usually reserve for around september/october and on. it made me wish i was wearing a scarf with a light sweater, and when i got outside, i would step on some leaves. but in reality, it was almost 8pm and still about 30 degrees. the smell of cinnamon and spices in the latte were amazing..i made dylan try it because i don't think he had ever had one before, and i think he really liked it! (i say this because he told me yesterday via text that he ordered one). i always want to get a coffee or latte between my classes, but i usually don't. why? well, i'll say it again-because it's too hot. so i'll just imagine that these taste delicious...

i don't think i would even want to drink this if this is what i got! (via)

or this... (via)

yep..true! (i don't swear(very often) so i'll let the picture do the talking haha via)

AND also, now that i have a Christmastime trip to NYC on my mind, i'm really thinking about the colder weather and enough of this humid, muggy stuff!
there was no real reason for this post, except for the fact that i felt like complaining about the heat and that i want to be able to drink a latte in a park to warm me up, not make  me 1000 degrees hotter than i already am.


post title comes from vampire weekend-giant (i put itunes on shuffle, and whatever the first  song was, that was going to be the title, how do you like that?)