a new job...

after one year at my job, i decided to make a change. was i actively looking for a new job or even slightly considering moving? nope. a few weeks ago, my one boss called me into her office (i work for 3 partners). well, let me back up. it was a thursday and my boss asked me if she could take me out for lunch because i had been doing so well. i was honest with her and told her that i have had really bad anxiety for quite a while and haven't actually been able to eat out at a restaurant since late summer (that's a whole 'nother story). she was totally cool about it and said we could just grab lunch in her office the next day. 

the next day came and when we were in her office she told me that after 17 years with the firm, she had decided to move to a smaller firm and wanted to know if i would like to go with her. i was in total shock. she explained everything would be the same in terms of benefits, there would be a generous raise, the probation period would be waived and i would go right to permanent, and i had the weekend to think about it. i was completely flattered and knew it wouldn't be an easy decision. i work for and with some of the nicest people. i became pretty close to the girls in the section and i knew it would be tough to leave them. plus, i'm a creature of habit and i basically hate change. add in the fact that my anxiety has been really bad and hard to manage lately; was it really the best move?

i talked it over with dylan and we both agreed that it was a great opportunity. i'm going from a firm with 200+ lawyers and 6.5 floors, to approximately 60 lawyers and 1.5 floors. i'm leaving the heart of the financial district and working on bay street, and moving just a few blocks away. lucky for me, it's still totally walkable from home.

fun fact for those of you who watch the show suits: you know the main lobby that they film in? that's where i worked the last year (bay adelaide centre). we see them filming in and around the area quite often and i always get so excited. lucky for me, they also film around the office i'm moving to. 

well, today is my first day and in the words of ruby sue from christmas vacation, i'm shittin' bricks.

i've got my lunch packed up...

well, there's officially less than 1 week until i start school again. i'm excited, but also pretty nervous. it's been a while, you know. i'm a little rusty on the homework, essay writing, hundreds of pages of reading thing. i joked to dylan that if after this 12 month diploma program i still can't get a job (along with my degree and other diploma i already have), i'll be about ready to quit and be a housewife ;) *for the curious, after high school i took a 2 year diploma program at college (which is where i met dylan), then i got my degree at the university of toronto, and 2 years have since passed with no career work. a little bit more here.*

we took a test ride to school yesterday just to see exactly how long it will take and for me to lock down my route. i'm sure i'll get turned around a few times in the first couple weeks and have to stop in the stations  and look around, but i'll manage. i'm just not very good at public transit as i've never really had to take it anywhere; i'm a big walker. while there, i got a few of the books i need for first semester (leaving the other few to get next week) and my student card. it's all real now!

 26 and a new student again. hi!

 new agendas and backpack. getting ready. new laptop to come next week, which i'm ridiculously excited about.

semester 1. 7 classes. still 5 more books to buy. help.

quite honestly, 7 classes each semester scares me. i never had to take that many in university and it just seems like a lot. but, it is an accelerated program; it's been condensed into 3 straight semesters, september through to august. i just have to tell myself that i went to one of the top universities in canada, and if i can do that, surely i'll do well in college again. 

back to school, back to school...

warning, this is a little long!

not having any luck in the job search was starting to get to me. it has been 2 years since i've graduated university, and while i've had odd jobs here and there (3 to be exact), i never had that career job or even a job that paid well. it's so frustrating looking at jobs online, only to see that my 6 years of college and university education get me nothing. entry level jobs want years of experience, knowledge of this program, a certificate in that; none of which i have. i still apply, but i've yet to get any calls, obviously. and let just throw this out there, a few weeks ago, i was applying to a department store and you know what they had under qualifications? a degree in retail management! to be a sales associate!! so yeah, i felt pretty defeated.

here i am, at nearly 26 still in a rut of what to do with my life. dylan has always tried to talk me into going back to school, but i would just scoff and say, "and take what?! i have no idea what i want to do!" "i don't want to go and take just anything. i need a job after!" "a masters degree wouldn't guarantee a job either!" i truly enjoyed what i got my degree in; criminology and sociology, but more so the criminology. to me, it's fascinating and i loved it. i considered law school in my first year, but quickly changed my mind.

last thursday (july 11) when dylan and i were talking, once again, about how frustrated and lost i feel, and the fact that i still have yet to get a job since moving here, or any calls (career-type or retail) he again suggested school. he told me just to think about it. i went for a walk and tried to clear my head and while i was out, i started thinking about a legal administrative assistant. when i got back home, i checked out a few colleges in the city that offered it and read up on it. most jobs i look at online want this diploma and they pay relatively well, i've seen some postings up to $65-$70,000. *i know one wouldn't start at that, but it's nice to know it's possible to work up to that* i gave the college a quick call to make sure they still had openings since i would be applying late and they did. of all things, they wanted my high school transcripts to make sure i had grade 12 english. then i was sent into a tizzy  because i had no recollection of whether i took it (turns out i did, as it was mandatory) and i was thinking, "you're telling me i may not get in because of something i didn't take nearly 10 years ago?!"

i had pretty much decided, that yes, i'm going to go for it and just apply. i spend the next day calling my high school, college, and university to get all my old student numbers. i finished the application process later that day and only applied to the one school (even though i could have chosen up to 5) and figured i would play the waiting game for 3-4 weeks. i didn't think there was a real reason i wouldn't get it, especially with my educational background and what i took, but i didn't want to get my hopes up. and then there was the whole, "more debt?! really?!?" i've been paying off my student loans for 2 years now, but i applied again since we don't have an extra $10,000 hanging around in our bank account.

on sunday (june 14), i got an email early in the morning, "congratulations, you've been accepted!" first of all, i couldn't believe i heard back so fast, and second of all, i got in!! i did a little dance in the living room and my girl friends and dylan were there with me.

so that's that! i'm going back to school. it's a diploma program that is 12 months straight and when i'm done, hopefully i'll get a placement that will lead to a job, and a job that pays well ;) in the end, what's a little more school debt?!

i really do think this is what i've wanted to do, i just didn't know it. it may have taken me a little longer than most to get there, but i feel like i'm finally on track and doing something with my life that i will (hopefully) enjoy and that will get me somewhere.

excited!

holy crap, i'm going back to school!

*this was pretty long-winded, but i wrote it out mostly for me to keep a memory of*

signed, sealed, delivered...

we have a place to live in toronto!!! woohoooo!! the whole process was surpringly easy and fast (like, from viewing approx 12 places, to choosing, waiting, then signing final papers, it was about 6 days). we dealt with a great brokerage that took care of everything, like i mentioned here. we didn't end up getting the one i mentioned in that post, but we got something totally better in every way. still brand new, but we even somehow managed to get an 'upgraded' unit, meaning a little more storage and stainless steel appliances. *dying* we put our offer in sunday night after going back earlier in the day to view more places. turns out, we left out a few initials on the documents and didn't get it sent back in until monday morning. the landlord had until tuesday at 6pm to decide. at this point, we had already lost out on a few places (which, like i said, now benefited us and was meant to be) and were trying not to get our hopes up. this place just seemed too good to be true. i mean, it's higher than the 30th floor, i'll say that much.

mid-day tuesday, i got an email from our agent saying that the landlord would like to work with me and dylan and that they were coming back with a counter offer. a few hours later we received the offer with minor changes, decided they were worth it, and signed the papers!! we both did a little dance, high fived each other and were in total disbelief.

now, we're moving even earlier than expected. see, we moved in here last july 1st. our landlord accidentally put june 1 when we signed the lease. we were hoping to move to toronto may 1 and move over the month of may slowly. however, this toronto landlord, when he countered back, said april 15th. obviously, we took it, and let out landlord know that if he wants to rent our place now for may 1st, by all means go ahead. it'll save us a months rent. so that's how things all played out! we get our keys in 10 days! holy shit!

totally squealed when reading this.

she's excited, too.

dylan was a party pooper and didn't want to participate in my celebratory pictures. honestly though, i'm pretty sure he's even more excited than me. he won't stop talking about our new place and moving and asking if i've "heard back from the agent yet about when we're meeting him to give more documents?!" like, asks me that at least 3x a day in a giddy tone.

time to get packing?

quittin' time...

just over 2 weeks ago, i quit this job and gave my notice. during the busy period of november and december, i was working crazy long days, working 50  hours a week, and taking pictures of kids and families all day long. come january, i had 3 shifts in a month. then in february, i had ONE shift. enough was enough and it was just a waste of my time. plus, there was enough that was going on within the workplace was BS.  i still have my office/social media job, which i quite like and often enough, it's a lot of fun, i just wish the pay was better ;)

via

c'est la vie. i'll find the right job for me at some point. 

comin' home...

a couple days ago, we finally made the decision that we are officially moving back to toronto when this lease is up!!! (i could put one million more exclamation points, but i don't want to be obnoxious ;)) as you know, leaving was absolute torture, and i didn't enjoy saying goodbye. i love that city with all my heart and i'm beyond excited. dylan loves the city too, so i know he's really excited, the only reason he needed a little convincing was because toronto is one of the most expensive canadian cities to live in, so obviously out rent will go up quite a bit. I'm pretty much certain we won't be able to afford a 2 bedroom, which would be ideal, but we at least need a one bedroom + den.

we recently found out that you can hire realtors for free (!!) who work for condos and get paid by the condos when they get tenants. so, i'll still be looking online on my own, but hopefully we can give our "wish list" to a realtor in the next few weeks and start the process, & maybe they can find something that we wouldn't have seen otherwise.

while we moved into our place now on july 1st, when we signed the lease, the landlord accidentally put june 1st. so a month earlier would be even better, however, if he realizes his mistake when we give him our notice, it's not a huge deal if we have to stay a month longer until july.

based on a july 1st moving date..omg!!

i cannot wait!! to be back in the city where i feel at home, even though technically it's not my home..i wasn't raised there, i only lived there for 5 years, but still.. i also can't wait to live in the city with dylan; he loves it there, but now he'll get to love it as someone who lives there, not just a visitor.

1 year away was long enough for me..the countdown is on!!

on living together...

i can hardly believe that we've been living together for 4.5 months now. things have been pretty good for the most part. sure, we have the odd screaming match (ok, maybe not screaming, but definitely quite heated), and we banter about something at least every other day, but overall, things are good. it's nice to come home to someone every day, to have someone to share a bottle of wine with, and to eat dinner with someone.

living with someone before marriage was never an issue for me. naturally, this just felt like the next step for us. i actually think it's been a good thing, us living together before marriage. we get to work out the kinks, argue about cleaning up, and where things go, and dishes and laundry now, in these first few months, instead of starting off our married life angry all the time that i'm the one doing the dishes 90% of the time, or over them not being rinsed. stupid things like that, that are trivial, but make me angrier than they should. slowly but surely, he's helping out more, and it's much appreciated. the days when i come home from work and the place is nice and clean..there's simply nothing better.

the one thing i was worried about was still having me time. we spent 5 years in different cities, seeing each other maybe once a week, i lived alone in those 5 years, and i'm an only child. so i'm used to my own space, to say the least. i'm happy to say i still have lots of it :) even if we're home together, dylan spends a lot of time in the office, playing video games and such. you know, boy things.

our place now feels like a home, and i love that. we have our furniture, our car, our shared bank account (i still smile when i see both of our names on our cheques), our dog; all things we share and can be proud of. i can't wait to decorate for christmas, for the snow to start falling, and to cozy up on the couch and spend the evening inside with the tree lights twinkling beside us.

so this living together thing, yeah, it's pretty awesome.

life's crazy...

on saturday, after dylan woke up from working nights, we went out for a little coffee date to a cafe we've become quite fond of. we got to talking about life (like we do a lot nowadays) and how things are really changing for the good. in his first month at his new job, he made more working part time than he did at his full time job (which could afford me to stay home while looking for work for those 2 months after we moved) that he lost in july. and this is just the training wage! he's through about 1/2 of the hours he needs for training and then we'll  be living the good life.

the most incredible carrot cake with cream cheese icing.

we both put together a 'wish list' of things we would like to buy, for ourselves and each other. it was pretty exciting to know that in a few short months, pretty much all money stress will be eliminated.
this post isn't meant to come across as bragging or gloating. it goes to show that you never know how fast life can flip around and you never know what to expect.
in july: we moved into together, dylan had a full time office time and i was looking for work. we were doing good with the one income. then later in the month, he lost his job. at the very end of the month, i started working a few hours a week doing some tweeting and facebooking for an office.
in august and september: we had to use some savings for bills and such, and dylan decided he was going to go back to school for a week long course, in an industry his friend has been in for years and begging to join him. end of september, dylan took the course.
in october: dylan started his new job and at the end of the month, i got a full time job, while still doing my other part time job.

bottom line; things will always work out. and maybe quicker than you think.

a new job...

i mentioned at the end of my post on friday that i had an interview. um, talk about the easiest interview ever.  i was *this close* to calling and changing the time because of how terrible i was feeling, but the cramps started going away and i figured i would just go and get it out of the way. i got there and she told me a little bit about the company and the only question she asked me was, "where do you see yourself down the road?" after that, she said she was really impressed with the work i had done for an event (talked a little about that here) and she said originally, the job was for answering phones and admin stuff, but overall, she felt i could do more. i was hired on the spot.

so where is it? well, i won't say exactly; i don't like to get too specific on here regarding jobs. but i will say it's at a portrait studio, and after 10 days of training, i'll probably slowly start taking passport photos, family photos, and kids portraits. a little random, but hopefully it'll be fun. the best part is that it's full time for november/december. after that, the hours will probably go down because this is the busy season, but there's the option of being hired on full time. so we'll see where things go :) dylan will start making his big bucks in january or february, so if the hours really do dwindle for me, or i decide i absolutely hate it for some reason, it'll be ok.

yay!

in addition to this new job (which i start today!), i'll also be keeping the part time job i have now. i do a lot of work from home (i run a facebook page and twitter for an organization), and only go into the office 2x a week usually at 4hrs a pop. so i should be able to manage keeping it. it'll just give us that extra bit of bonus money, which will be nice.

wish me luck! (luck on the fact that it's my first day and i'll be working 9 hour shifts for a while. whoa)

updates about jobs & life...

it's been about a month and half since i wrote this post about our {quite big} bump in the road. i'm happy to say things are on the up and up, though it's still going to be a rough few months until things get easier. i mentioned that dylan had signed up for that one week course, which starts september 24th. well, he started handing out resumes to companies letting them know he would be completing this course by the end of the month and he'll be able to work. his friend has been in this industry for years and has always tried to convince dylan to join him. anyways, a couple weeks ago, dylan got a call to come in for an interview. he dropped me off in toronto for a few hours so i could wander around, and off he went. he called me not to long after that and said he got the job. you think i would have been happy, but really, i just cried in the coffee shop i was sitting in.

yes, it's a job, but in my opinion, it's awful. it's straight nights, 5 days a week, to start. he may not leave until midnight, he may get home at 4am. who knows. the reason he has to put up with this is because for work in this industry, you need about 350 apprenticeship hours (at $X/per hour) and then you join the union and your pay almost doubles, and it's a very good salary. this is one of the few companies that will train people and give them their apprenticeship hours. the plan is that once he gets these hours (it should take about 3 months), he'll quit and move to another company and work regular day hours.

other cons to this job? it's about 20 minutes outside of toronto. yes, the city i just moved from 2 months ago and love with all my heart. which also means....we had to buy a car. could we afford one at this point? nope. thank goodness his aunt and uncle are very generous (the ones we house sit for) and helped us out greatly. as of a few days ago..we bought this baby..

2007 hyundai elantra. our first car!

lets hope we can stick it out the 3 months (mostly me) and once he moves companies, it won't be so bad. the plan is that once our lease is up here, we'll be back in toronto and that makes me happier than anything really. and i know he loves that city, too.

as for me? i've been working part time with a local neighborhood BIA; assisting in the office, some social media, attending and helping with events, etc. it's a fun job, fairly laid back, but i do still need something with  more hours and more money. at least this is giving me experience in the meantime.

this was the long winded version of what's been up with us. we're still paying our bills and rent on time! we never hit rock bottom, or even close (financially), really; budgeting definitely comes in handy.

it's been an experience, this whole thing, and i gotta say, regardless of how cheap i am day-to-day anyways, i am ready to move on from it. i want to be cheap because i want to be/choose to be, not because i have to be, ya know?

a bump in the road...

i'm not really sure how to write this post, and i wasn't sure i was going to at all, but dylan said this our journal and this is a huge part of our life. therefore, might as well just come out and say it. if you follow me on twitter, you already know. as of thursday, dylan lost his job. and as you know, i just moved here 4ish weeks ago, so i still don't have one. he had found out that it was a possibility the previous friday, so we tried to keep our hopes up. he was hoping he would find out on monday, but nothing. then tuesday, wednesday..no word. i found out wednesday night i had an interview on thursday afternoon (at a measly barely above minimum wage job. diploma and degree? no help here!).

just after 12pm on thursday, dylan told me he was taking a half day because he really wasn't feeling good. stupid me didn't even clue in. he came home and came with me for the trek to my interview because i wasn't quite sure how to get there. once the interview was done, he asked me how it was and what i thought about it. i said it seemed a little off and i wasn't a fan of the hours, and it really wasn't what was advertised; it said reception, but turns out it's actually more so sales. yeah, i'm not a seller. he pretty much told me if it was offered to me, i would have to take it because he lost his job that morning. of course that's why he came home. duh! i thought i would be fine, but right there on the street, i just started crying. he said he didn't want to tell me before my interview because he didn't want the added stress and pressure going in. thank god.

as for where we are now, we'll be looking for jobs, which is a given. i have no doubt that dylan can find something fairly quickly; he's got a lot of connections. he's still got some money coming in, and luckily, i'm really quite frugal, so i have decent amount of savings to use in the meantime. he's also signed up for a course (in september) that takes one week and allows him to make quite a bit of money once he's licensed. it's completely different than what he went to school for, but if it works a bit, then that'll do. even if it took us a couple months to find jobs, we will still be fine financially, so that eases the pressure quite a bit.

i know we'll be ok, but there's nothing else to say other than it sucks that we're facing this problem just a month after moving in together.

two unemployed fools.

goodbye...

it was hard saying goodbye to my place, no doubt about that. but, i've gotten through the hardest part, and i have high hopes that we'll be back in toronto at a later date. and like i said before, it definitely helps that our friend got my place and i can go back and see it (even though it will be decorated to a boys taste!).

one of the last few days. little one among the mess.

saturday june 31st. my last time in my apartment.

this last one here was taken in august 2007, when i was moving in.

it may have been teeny-tiny, but it served me well and i loved it. i had a great little living room with a huge bay window, a bedroom with one too, and a ridiculously small kitchen that sometimes drove me mad. but i wouldn't have lived anywhere else. the neighbourhood was killer too. for anyone from toronto or who knows the area, i was pretty much right where the annex ended and yorkville began; a dream location. but, now i've moved to a new city (well, pretty close to where i grew up) and i'd say we're in the same 'killer' location here, too. you know what they say, it's all about location, location, location.

things i'll miss about toronto...

-walking out and seeing the cn tower
-how dog friendly the city is;  if i was going out browsing, she usually came with me.
-santa clause parade *we've gone for 5 years :(*
-st lawrence market
-being a 5 minute walk to whole foods (their pizza and paninis are so good)
-the beaches
-steps to literally everything; every kind of food, books, malls, shopping, museums, parks, movies, etc.
-subway system (even though i rarely took it; i walked literally everywhere-that was my mode of transportation for my time there).
-my favorite used book store, where i bought many books over the years-bmv
-dessert lady tradition (again, we've gotten our anniversary cake from here for 5 years. ugh, this one really sucks)
-nuit blanche-the all night art festival that takes over downtown.
-tiff-the film festival where all the celebs are in town for 2 weeks.
-kensington market
-rom
-tiffany & co-walking past it almost daily and admiring the windows, and getting my ring cleaned whenever i want.
-holt renfrew-browsing this store weekly (even though i couldn't afford much in there) and their amazing christmas windows.
-my apartment and my own space. i love this place.
-it's where i raised chloe!! endless training, crying because it was so hard, and wanting to take her out of her crate when she cried, but it was all worth it now that she's a ball of well-trained love.

st. lawrence market, cn tower in the distance, santa claus parade, and michael c hall (!!) at tiff 2 years ago.

the beaches, holt renfrew christmas windows.

she was soo tiny back then!! that's a UofT sweatshirt that goes on a little bear, it doesn't actually belong to chloe ;) *2007*


"there are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new life."

updates...

a few updates as to where we are purchases for our  new place (mostly for us to read back on)...first of all, moving and furnishing is expensive!! i hate it and it kills me to see the money leaving my (and our new joint) account, especially because for me, it's not being replenished. you know, with no job and all! (for those new here, i quit my job here in the city 2 weeks ago, and i'll be looking again once we're all moved in.)

we've bought most of the big things; the bed frame, a new queen mattress, box spring, bedding and sheets, cutlery, couch for the living room, light for the living room, and some  miscellaneous decorative pieces. one of the big splurges which we definitely didn't need, but dylan wanted oh so badly? a brand spankin' new 50" led tv. which also means we got a beautiful new tv stand (well, hopefully beautiful in person, dylan ordered it online).

there are a few things that we're using from my current place, like my kitchen table and chairs, dresser for the bedroom, couch (for the 2nd bedroom), and a living room table that belongs to dylan...these pieces aren't ideal, but they'll work for now until we can slowly replace them with new stuff.

of course, there are still things we need, like a patio set (so we can enjoy our deck!), pictures and what not to make it 'homey' and a bbq (which my parents are getting for us!) we have plans to make our own headboard, so hopefully that will happen sooner than later. as for 2nd bedroom, the plan is for it to be an office, but i think for a while it will be a 'collect all the things' room while the other rooms get finished first. it's a lot of work this whole moving thing.

currently hanging out in my parents dining room.

wanna know something cool? our good friend since college is moving into my place!! how cool is that? he needed a place as of july 1st, and when dylan told him that my landlord was showing my place all day last week, he asked if he could get in. i let my landlord know and he was one of the 7 or so people that came through. at the end of the next day, it was official that my landlord had picked him!! honestly, it makes me feel so much better that i know the person moving in. knowing that me and dylan can still come back to toronto, and see my place, it makes leaving it a little bit easier.

we can burn brighter than the sun...

sunday morning started early with fresh french press coffee and muffins on the porch. soon after that, we were on the subway and streetcar to west elm. it was in a neighborhood which neither of us had been to, so we were looking forward to walking around a bit, too.

outfit of the day (ootd? is that what kids are calling it now?); i love that the skirt has a small pair of black shorts built in (from forever 21, along with the sandals). i'm pretty sure between the shoes, skirt, tshirt, and purse, the grand total comes to like, a whopping $39. 

at urban brick; i had to say  no to this monster chair. thank goodness it only came in brown, so it was completely out of the question anyways.

the egg chair. a little hard, quite interesting...

 we made it!

we picked up this duvet cover and 2 big pillow covers. via west elm. now we just need white sheets, new pillows, and of course, a mattress and bed frame.

we then went into a few other stores right around west elm to do some browsing. we ended up getting our cutlery for 44% off! we got this set here for 8 people. the soup spoon is huge!! we're both stupidly excited to use this spoon. earlier in the week, i went into anthropologie to take a look at the sale stuff and they had a good amount of mugs, plates, and bowls on sale. i was able to get 6 mugs for $33. score. slowly but surely, we're getting more and more items for our place. but in the mean time, my apartment is a complete mess. my parents took home my desk and a table, and now boxes fill those spaces. it's all very weird.

another goodbye...

you know what comes along with moving an hour away? giving your notice to your current job. truth be told, i was dreading it. i felt weird, i didn't know exactly how to bring it up, and my manager is an awesome person. but, on monday i did it. and it was a huge relief! i've never mentioned where i worked (except for a few people on twitter), but i guess now that i'm leaving next friday, there's no harm. s.t.a.r.b.u.c.k.s. (sorry, just don't want to type the full name and have my blog come up in searches).

it was an interesting job for 8 months. at times it was so crazy busy, and then the next minute there would be no one. for the most part, i was able to look at a massive lineup and think, "oh well, i'm going as fast as i can and i'm not really bothered by the line." but lately with the stress of the thought of moving and finding new work when i move (oh ya, that little thing!! no, i have nothing lined up. dylan will be the breadwinner until i find something ;)), work was just getting overwhelming. and you wouldn't believe the amount of money people spend on coffee every.single.day. and even multiple times a day!

but the one thing i will miss, besides my co-workers and a few customers, is this...

this is what i'm left with. i've given plenty away.

yes, i'll miss taking my markout every week-1lb of coffee, or a box of tea, or a pack of instant coffee. i've built up quite a little supply.

my last day is next friday. i wanted to give myself a few weeks to enjoy the city work-free before i'm dragged away. that, and i need to pack an apartment.  

our new home...

sometimes it felt like we looked for a place for months upon months. and nothing worked out. but in reality, it was really only a little over a month. we fell in love with 2 places before this one, but for one reason or another, they didn't work out. we kind of felt like we were on an HGTV show, like property virgins or something; location or size??? for me, it was all about location. i would not compromise. it may have pissed dylan off a bit because he thought i was being unrealistic haha but what do you know?

we ended up finding something. so last saturday, in the midst of the long weekend, i went back home at 9am to see the place (and we were back in toronto by 1pm to enjoy our time). my mom (as my eyes) and dylan had gone to see the place on the previous wednesday (i worked and couldn't make it), and they gave it the ok, which is why we went back on saturday. while i may have preferred one of the other places a little bit more, just because it was bigger, i think we'll be pretty happy here. i mean, we have a deck!! and a backyard! so much drinking and lounging on the deck this summer ;) 

anyways, it's a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom place with a full kitchen! something i haven't had in my 5 years in toronto. it lets in a lot of natural light (which was huge for me) and even has a bay window in the living room (again, something i really wanted, as i have one now in my living room and bedroom). enough with the talk. want to see some pictures my mom took when she went?

 1) the cabinets were custom made by the landlord-lots of cupboard space! 2) that door leads to the deck and will provide a nice breeze when open through the screen door. 3) we'll be covering that electric box somehow because i don't think i could stand to look at it everyday. 

 half of the deck! the bbq is theirs. 

 the living room. small, but we'll make it work. also, hardwood floors everywhere!

 this is the master bedroom, and the next is the 2nd bedroom. but they're about the same size, so we may switch them up.

they most definitely need to be painted.

the countdown until move in is on. july 1st weekend it is; luckily the last few days of june fall on a friday-sunday so it works out to move out of my place. we have so many ideas for this space and i hope it all comes together nicely (and quickly once we're in. i hate living in an unfinished space). but don't even get me started on the cost of furnishing a new place. cue anxiety!!

tomorrow we're heading to a huge antique show in hopes of finding a few things like an old latter, some lanterns for the deck, and old wooden doors. have a good weekend! 

it's official...

i'm leaving toronto. god, it was hard to type those words. i'm leaving a neighborhood, an apartment, and a city i love. given that it's been a year since i graduated and i've found no real work, i just can't stay here. i'm moving back home. i hate that i couldn't make it work. i hate that i'm leaving. and i hate that i'm going back to a city i really just don't like. *i'm listening to this song a lot lately it just makes me cry harder, but i'm in love with it*

i went and told my landlord yesterday and truly felt sick to my stomach all morning thinking about. as weird as it sounds, i felt like i was about to breakup with someone. i walked in his office and i think i managed to get about 6 words out before i started bawling my eyes out (oh god, here they come again). he came around from his desk and gave me a big hug (did i mention he's a great landlord and we got to know each other over the 5 years. oh, and he loves chloe). i tried to get my words out through the tears that wouldn't stop and eventually i did. we talked for a good hour and i think he may have even had a tear in his eye. last summer, he even tried helping me find work; he asked around to his friends and what not. like i said, good guy. i left his office and went back up to my apart and it felt really weird. it's all of a sudden so real and i don't like it.

the silver lining to this is that....me and dylan are moving in together. after almost 6 years of being together, and 5 of those being 'long distance' (well, an hour apart), we'll finally be in the same city again. make that the same house together, though we have yet to find a place. while i'm definitely excited about this new phase, right now it's kind of overshadowed by overwhelming sadness. i'll have more to say on us in the future, but right now i'm still kind of numb to the fact that i've actually given my notice and this is really happening.

so, on june 30th i'll be leaving the place i really grown up, where i spent my early 20's, the place i studied countless hours for exams, the place where i trained a dog all on my own, the place where i cooked so many meals in my minuscule kitchen, the place me and dylan made so many memories, and the place that was my own...i'll be leaving it 6 weeks shy of 5 years.

my home may be the city where i grew up and where i'm moving back to, but my heart will always be in this city.

week 1 down...

it's finally friday. my first week of work is finally winding down. by 7pm tonight, i'll have put in my 40 hours for the week. but man, working is hard. shocker, i know.
but how did it go? what are my thoughts? the one word that comes to mind is overwhelming. i was basically on the verge of tears the third morning. i was thinking that i'm never going to catch on, and i don't want to wait 8 weeks for it to 'click' like they say it probably will take. i also had awful cramps that day, and i'm sure you can put two and two together and assume what that means, and i'm also sure that had something to do with my emotions. but, as the day went on, it got a lot better and slowly (very slowly) i'm catching on.
the people seem pretty awesome, which is great because that can definitely make or break a job, and i'm sure i will end up having fun there.
hopefully today will be better than the last 4 and that's the direction it will keep going in. i know there will be some days where it feels like i'm taking a step back, but that's to be expected. lets hear it for the weekend! me and dyl are going apple picking bright and early tomorrow morning (like 8am) because he works at 12 and that's what we gotta do if we want to go apple picking this month. so lets also hear it for morning dates!

sad but true. via

or in my case, enough to pay rent and loans. oh joy. via

enjoy the (long) weekend.

and happy thanksgiving to the canadians!!

gobble gobble.

no longer jobless!

this is really exciting to say...

i got a job!!!!

i got the call yesterday. is it what i pictured myself doing 5 months post grad? no. a carrer job? no. but that's ok. i have a full time job, i'll get to meet people, hopefully have some fun, and make money!! because that's the important part ;) it was getting prettttyyyy close to me having to leave toronto because i couldn't find anything. so this was perfect timing. it's also my first job in 2 years!! what?!? crazy. what matters is that i can pay my rent + pay off my loans every month. at this point, my parents still pay for my cell phone, internet, cable and food (i know, i'm very lucky and grateful), so those are the 2 things i have to focus on. 

i'm not going to say where it is because 1) i don't know you people and i don't want stalkers!! ;)

2) i don't need this blog coming up in searches for that company. considering my friends/family still don't know about this blog, i don't need my workplace knowing either. again, not that i ever use this to say anything bad, it's just my journal and somewhat personal. ya know?

of course i'll still be looking for a career job (although at this point i still have no idea what i want that to be), but this takes a huge stressor off me. and, about an hour before i got the call, i was taking a look around my apartment and picturing myself telling my landlord i was going to have to leave. it was sad.

 thumbs up for no longer being unemployed! i start next monday :)

-miss yesterday's post? yep, you're at the right blog, i'm now part of the brunette club!