Wednesday, March 10, 2010

life, or something like it...

i'm 22, i'll be 23 in a few months.
i got my college diploma along with dylan right after high school (well, we met up in the 2nd year)
i'm in my 3rd year at university doing a double major in criminology and sociology and a minor in sexual diversity studies. and don't get me wrong, i love what i'm taking.
but i still have no idea what i want to do when i'm done. not that i feel like i have to know right now, given that i still have a year left, but a little nudge would be nice. see, if i was good in the sciences, i have no doubt i would be in forensics, analyzing bodies, or blood spatter analyst (dexter)..but, since that's not the case, it's not an option.
4 of my girlfriends are graduating teachers college in the next few months, another is graduating from nursing in may and another is in med school.
i feel like they are all starting their lives in a matter of months, well at least by september, when none of them will be going back to school, but rather to work.
and then i will still be in class. sometimes it sucks to think about, but at the same time, i know i'm not ready for a career job yet. but then i was looking at this picture yesterday before class...

it's from a cup of jo and i was in awe when i saw it. i just loved it. the openness, the ladder up to the cubby, the built ins (me and dylan love books and libraries, i have a tonne of inspiration pictures saved, i should share them sometime), everything...
anyways, i clicked on the link where it's from and got to looking around at more pictures of the house...and something just hit me..i can't even explain. it was just like, i don't want a regular job. i want something creative. i want something more. and why this picture hit me like it did? i don't know..i really don't even know what i'm trying to say.
i want to live in a really cool apartment, in nyc, in greenwich village, with dylan and chloe. i want an awesome closet and an awesome library for all our books. (dreams)
and on top of all this, it seems everyone around me is getting engaged...there has been a couple people on facebook within the last month or so and they're all my age (one was even taken on a surprise vacay with her bf, ended up in paris and got engaged there..talk about fairytale right?) but, i know that for me, it can't happen for a while, because well, we're both still in school and have zero moolah. even so, i don't want an expensive proposal, i just want something thoughtful and creative, but that's off topic. le sigh
so this is what i was thinking of yesterday and it's really just a rant and what is going through my mind lately. everyone has their own circumstances, some are more privileged, and you have to live your life in your way and not compare yourself to what others have, but darnit sometimes it's hard. that's all.

don't fret dyl, everything is all good.

2 comments:

Kristin said...

Those gorgeous built ins are the stuff dreams are made of! I think when you're at a crossroads you can't help but have those feelings!

Slightly Undone said...

I am *right there* with you...but I'm about to be 25. Sometimes I'm like, "WTF I am *not* meant to be behind a desk!" I'm feelin the itch too...

Good luck!!

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